Beltway Confidential

24 Alec Baldwin quotes proving he’s liberal enough for MSNBC

Beltway Confidential,Charlie Spiering,MSNBC,Analysis

Alec Baldwin has reportedly reached a deal with MSNBC to host his own prime time show on Friday nights.

But the news had us wondering: Is Alec Baldwin liberal enough for MSNBC?

Here are some of his most liberal and most bizarre quotes on record:

1. He could totally run for president – but the right-wing is stopping him

“I would run if I could win. Too many reactionary haters in the RW for that to be possible.”

2. He defends animals even when they remind him of Republicans

“As a lifelong Democrat, I never thought I’d lead an effort to defend the symbol of the Republican Party. But when I saw the cruelty that Ringling inflicts on elephants every day across the country, I had to speak up. I’ve just hosted this new video for PETA, exposing how Ringling employees routinely beat elephants. They dig into the animals’ sensitive flesh with what amounts to a fireplace poker in order to get them to pay attention, contort their bodies, or stand and balance in ways that make no sense to them.”

3. He detests racism

“If Hank Williams Jr wasn’t such a pathetic, wheezing fossil, I’d have a talk with him. I think we need to call Hank Williams Jr what he is… A broken-down, senile, racist coot.”

4. He hated the Bush years

“You wanna go back? To Bush? Cheney? Paulson? Rumsfeld? Unfunded wars? Death of U.S. soldiers and innocent civilians for oil?” You wanna go back to lying thieves in the White House who make war under false pretenses in order to make $ for their friends?”

5. He knows what Obama is thinking

“I think Obama knows he has a tremendous burden now. The obligation to bring this country to a new level of thinking.”

6. He’s good at presidential to-do lists

“Obama must lead on taxes, spending, terrorism, health care, and US energy independence. Education, environmental regulation, predatory financial markets.”

7. He’s always optimistic about Obama’s future

“With four years to work within, let’s hope for courage and wisdom from this second term.”

8. He loves trashing Republicans . . . and lifting up Obama out of the swamp

“Gingrich is a cranky history professor. Romney is better suited for country club president. Obama sees what govt’s (government’s) priorities should be. Obama…. 2012.”

9. He has profound analysis after an Obama speech

“As you watch Obama speaking in Kansas, you realize why he was elected. Thoughtful, sincere, realistic.”

10. He fantasizes about third-world riots in America

“If we were in another country, we would stone Henry Hyde to death and we would go to their homes and kill their wives and their children. We would kill their families, for what they’re doing to this country.”

11. He realizes that it’s not Obama’s fault

“What’s crippled Obama’s administration, as far as I’m concerned, is the financial crisis and it’s prevented him from doing any new spending,”

12. He loves mocking secessionists

“It’s so strange because I had many of those states on a list of states I would like to secede from the United States,” joked Baldwin. “And the people that are leading that movement, it’s amazing, because we actually agree on something for the first time."

13: Always eager to offer advice for Republicans

“We need to have Inhofe retire to a solar-powered gay bar.”

14: Astute polling analysis

“If Obama was white, he’d be up by 17 points.”

15. Detests Rush Limbaugh

“Rush Limbaugh is an uneducated, marginally talented, overbearing, recovering drug addict who was, at least according to Wikipedia, ineligible for the draft because he had cysts on his ass.”

16. Has “real” Republican friends

“I have dear friends of mine who represent real Republicans. Goldwater Republicans. Strong on defense. Tough on immigration. Fiscal conservatives. Not the bullshit Reagan wing of the party which, along with Clinton killing Glass-Steagall, brought us to where we are today.”

17. Who AREN’T Christians and don’t listen to Rush Limbaugh. . .

“My friends who are these real Republicans (not hypocritical evangelicals who are too lazy to raise their own children properly so, therefore, insist that all public institutions and policies bend to their will to make that job easier) do not listen to Limbaugh.”

18. Did I say he hates Rush Limbaugh?

Until Limbaugh gets real, weans himself off the big salary and runs for office, he will always be nothing more than a poorly educated, marginally talented buffoon who has developed a real talent for manipulating the G-spot of the neocon consciousness and massaging the hate gland of so many economically displaced white voters in America.

19. Good at composing lefty metaphors on the fly

“The campaign finance scandal in America is the global warming of American political life – with cash substituting for deadly solar radiation.”

20. He visited Occupy Wall Street!

21. He can make fun of Sarah Palin

“Bible spice”

22. He can do post-election anaylasis

“Obama’s election signaled 1 change. His re-election signaled another. The end of white, middle-aged Christian male dominance.”

23. He can imitate Piers Morgan

24. He trashes CNN!

“Anderson Cooper has a job to do. And that job is to try to reinforce his credibility in the gay community after the fact that you couldn’t get him out of the closet for 10 years with a canister of tear gas. Now he’s the sheriff; now he’s running around writing everybody a ticket!”

But wait! Don’t those comments about Cooper – and these comments disqualify him from ever appearing on MSNBC?

Not cool Mr. Baldwin. Perhaps you are not enlightened enough to be on MSNBC. . .

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