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January 08, 2014 AT 11:51 AM
To receive spicy photos of your lady via your cellphone could be the greatest benefit of modern technology. Whether cherished over a long week apart from your beloved, or utilized for some "work release," these gems come in...well, handy. But there's a catch to gathering such golden nuggets of sexiness: the keeper of said precious treasures must guard their privacy with his life. Consider your duty like that of a Navy SEAL: compromise the mission by mentioning the existence of such photos to others and you shall be stripped of all honors and privileges. Should you ever go so far as to actually show them to friends, you can consider her photo booth - and likely, your relationship - permanently closed for business. Even worse, if word gets out to other ladies about your Julian Assange-like reputation to leak, you could be barred by the National Association of Women's Tit-pics International (NAWTI) for life.