Yes, an ATM near Olympics Park just asked me if I wanted to continue in English or Cockney.

Here's what I was up against:

— "Sausage and Mash?" (Cash).

— "Please enter your Huckleberry Finn" (Pin).

— "Reading Your Bladder of Lard" (Card).

— "Would you like your balance on the Charlie Sheen?" (Screen).

— "We are contacting your rattle and tank" (bank).

The ATMs are run by a company called Bank Machine.

The origins of Cockney rhyming slang, heard at times in east London, are obscure. It is thought to have been used by market traders who needed a way of communicating without tipping off their customers.

It works by replacing a word with a short rhyming phrase. For example: "Money" becomes "bread and honey," which in turn is shortened to "bread." Similarly, "head" becomes "loaf of bread," and then just simply "loaf."

A few other classics: "trouble and strife" for wife and "apples and pears" for stairs.

— Miles Edelsten — Twitter http://twitter.com/strewther

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