Pew survey data identifies which Americans need to be deported immediately

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Beltway Confidential,Opinion,Barack Obama,Republican Party,Democratic Party,Washington,Deportation,Pew Research Center,Becket Adams

The number of Americans who believe that the U.S. “stands above all other countries” has dropped to just 28 percent, a 10-point decline from three years ago, according to the Pew Research Center.

The Pew survey, which was conducted from Jan. 23-March 16, found that only 58 percent of Americans believe that the U.S. is “one of the greatest countries” and not the greatest country.

Obviously, these respondents need to be put on probation until they recant their clearly terrible opinion. They should also be forced to prove their love for the U.S. either through various feats of strength or an eating contest.

Even more disturbing, an astonishing 12 percent of survey respondents believe other countries are “better” than the U.S.

These respondents need to be deported immediately. They had their chance.

Not too surprisingly, belief in American exceptionalism has dropped with both self-identified Democrats and independents.

But here’s something: A sharp drop in opinion of the U.S. comes from the poll’s self-identified Republicans. Only 37 percent now view the U.S. as the greatest country on Earth, a 15-point drop from 2011.

Further, youths (or "yutes") don't much care for the United States: Only 15 percent of survey respondents aged 18-29 say America is superior to other countries, a 12-point drop from 2011.

We suggest mandatory military service for these individuals.

And belief in American exceptionalism doesn’t improve with age: Only 26 percent of respondents aged 30-49 say they believe in the notion of American exceptionalism, which is another 12-point drop from 2011.

"This doesn't mean that American exceptionalism will die alongside its older adherents, but it does suggest America's youth are in need of a healthy dose of patriotism,” the Washington Post reported, suggesting that those with a low opinion of the U.S. watch Whitney Houston's Super Bowl "Star Spangled Banner."

We disagree. That's too gentle. We suggest time in "the cooler" or maybe the establishment of a penal colony somewhere in the Pacific.

“Americans' declining satisfaction with freedom might be one of the causes for this decline in exceptionalism. In 2006, Gallup found that Americans were among the most satisfied in the world when it came to their country's freedom. Now, the United States is in 36th place, as their satisfaction has declined by 12 percentage points,” the Washington Post notes.

“Gallup posits that the decline could be correlated with the economy's lackluster performance in the past few years, coupled with increasing frustration with the government and corruption,” the report added.

Luckily, however, we haven’t been stripped of all our freedoms (although the people who participated in the Pew survey should have all their rights as American citizens revoked).

The U.S. is still a free nation and we can remind ourselves of this by grilling as much as we want this weekend when we gather to celebrate Independence Day.

Happy birthday, America. May your fireworks-related injuries be few and your grilled goods plentiful.

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