HAVING A HEART
A 25-year-old man was stopped by a Transportation Security Administration agent at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport because an X-ray machine had identified a suspicious object in his black duffle bag.
The agent led the man to a table beyond the security checkpoint, where she proceeded to unload the contents of his duffle bag. A six-ounce bottle of sunscreen hit the table with a thud.
"But I'm going to the beach!" the man squealed, protesting the airport's rule prohibiting liquids greater than 3 ounces in carry-on luggage. "I'm going to burn!"
The agent shrugged off the man's protest.
"I have to put this back through the X-ray machine, and I'm getting rid of this sunscreen," she said.
"Well, we'll find out if you have a heart or not when you come back," the man taunted, grinning.
Two minutes later, the agent returned with the duffle bag and handed it back to the man.
"It's in there," she whispered.
And sure enough, it was.
AT LEAST THEY WEREN'T EATING STEAK
A Montgomery County couple decided to have "date night" in Rockville Town Center.
So they headed north, planning to eat at an Italian restaurant on the town square.
Little did they know that Rockville holds "Movies on the Square" every Wednesday night throughout the summer.
When they arrived around 9:30, they were surprised to find a crowd and a large, inflatable movie screen showing "The Last Lions," a National Geographic nature documentary --the only documentary of the 10 movies being shown this summer.
Although the movie had already been running for an hour, they decided to watch it, and they grabbed an outdoor table and both sat facing the screen.
And then they feasted on seafood risotto and pesto fettuccine while watching a mother lion attacking buffalo on Botswana's Duba Island, looking for dinner of her own.
If they decide to return next week, the movie offering is a little more tame: "Moneyball."
HOW NOT TO RIDE A BIKE
A veteran cyclist commuter was stopped at a downtown stoplight one morning when another cyclist slammed into him from behind at about 20 to 25 mph.
The result: one swollen ankle, a black and blue hip and an injured shoulder.
The best part? The guy who caused the accident was a classic fair-weather biker who had no shirt or helmet, was wearing flip-flops, riding a red rental bike, wearing DJ headphones, and the capper, teeth-whitening trays in his mouth.
SOME OF US WOULD BE OK WITH AN AUDI
It seems Washingtonians have very high standards when it comes to luxury cars.
A group of men were standing outside one recent morning when a stunning Audi R8 pulled up to the stoplight. While he waited, the driver revved the sports car's engines, prompting just about everyone on the block to turn around and stare.
The men ogled at the car briefly before one said, "Oh, it's just an Audi," ending the fascination.
The "just an Audi," its manufacturer said, starts at $114,200.
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