LOOKING FOR 20-20 VISION
A downtown office manager, needing new glasses, went to a nearby eyeglasses store. But because he can't see too well without his glasses, he brought five pairs back to the office for his employees to judge. (How he got the store's salespeople to let him walk out with the glasses, we'll never know).
After trying them on repeatedly as he walked through the office to get multiple opinions, he headed back to the store feeling confident in his final choice.
Back at the store, while waiting as the saleswoman did his paperwork, he picked up the pair from the counter, tried them on and started looking in the mirror.
But they didn't look right.
In fact, they looked so bad through his blurry vision that he started having buyer's remorse and told the saleswoman that maybe he shouldn't get them after all.
That's because you're not wearing the glasses you picked out, she said. Instead, he had tried on a pair of kids' glasses.
A newly divorced woman was buying a chair for her new home office. It was a beautiful sunny day, and she was happy to be rebuilding her life.
She went to a chain office supply store and found a fabulous chair, when the manager starting chatting her up. There were no fewer than three handshakes. She gave one-word answers to his increasingly personal questions: "Are you new to D.C.? What do you do for a living? Oh, that explains why you have such a pretty smile." And then, the kicker: "Would you like me to come home with you and help you get the chair into your home?"
Um, that would be a no.
At home, sitting in her new chair, she did an online chat with the company's representative, and noted that the experience had been creepy, scary, unwelcome. After sympathizing, the rep forwarded her complaint to the Powers that Be, and said, ""Thank you for contacting XXX Live Customer Support today. Have a wonderful day!"
At least the chair really was fabulous.
FUN, UNTIL SOMEBODY GETS HURT
A D.C. woman who normally would have smiled at children having fun didn't have that reaction as she walked out of her local grocery store this week.
She spotted six kids with no helmets riding by on their bikes, popping wheelie after wheelie in the busy city street. She had spent all day researching bicycle safety for work.
Thus, fear and worry and "Kids these days!"
WHAT'S NEXT, CHEWING HER TOENAILS?
A Kensington man was flying home from Louisville, Ky., when a woman sat down next to him.
She explained that she was moving from her row, where a dog was encamped under the seats.
"I'm 64 and I can do what I want now, and I'm not a dog person," she told him.
The Kensington man replied that was a great attitude and he wished he felt freer to do such things.
Later, he took out his lunch and started munching on his sandwich.
Unfortunately, his seatmate decided that was the perfect time to floss her teeth.
Maybe, he thought, that attitude isn't so great after all.